Reflections & Resolutions

As I've reflected on the last year and thought about what is coming in this new one, I cannot help but feel overwhelming gratitude for my life and all the love in it.

I knew being married to Austin would be good, but I had no idea how good. It's one of those things that you don't know you are missing from your life until it's in it, and then you have no clue how you lived so long without it. Like avocados or cafe rio, but infinitely more. Austin is so kind, thoughtful, funny, intelligent, hard-working, caring, adoring, and absolutely adorable. He makes every day better and never fails to help me see the good. On top of that, he also does all the laundry, most the cleaning, and half the cooking. So really I am winning BIG TIME over here.

With my new marriage, I have also discovered a whole new level of love for my Savior. Don't get me wrong, I have always been grateful for the atonement and always understood that without it, I could not live with my family again in Heaven. But it was not until I was sealed to Austin that I fully appreciated the atonement meant I could live with HIM forever and ever, and spend eternity becoming perfected, creating worlds, and just loving him. And oh my goodness how my perspective has shifted. I cannot imagine life without Austin in it. I would not want any life or existence that did not include him quite honestly (sounds dramatic, I know). I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father and Savior who provided a way for me to truly have Austin for forever. What a blessing. I can tell you one thing is for sure: I do not deserve it. God really is good.

I am not quite sure what this post is about, but I wanted to start keeping a blog again. Being February, I thought it was appropriate to talk about love as it has been on my mind a lot lately. As cliche as it is, love is what makes the world go round! I think it should be a part of everything we do.

I have also been thinking lately about what changes I want to make in my life this year. The one I keep coming back to is just being more kind. Not that I am a mean person, but I do not want to become a complacent person. I want to actively do good. I want to seek out opportunities to serve, rather than wait until one falls in my lap. I want never suppress a generous thought and just give all I have to give. Because let's be real: I have more than I need, and as Anne Frank said, "No one ever became poor by giving." *mic drop*

So from me to you, Happy Valentines and Happy New Years! I hope you take a moment to appreciate all the goodness and love in your life, I hope you realize where it originates form, and I hope you go find someone you can serve. Whether that is texting an old friend to say hi, making treats and door-belling ditching them, paying for the person's food in line behind you, giving someone the Book of Mormon, donating to the refugee efforts.. there is something YOU can do. How lucky are we that God trusts us enough to serve His children?! Personally, I believe it is one of life's greatest joys.

2017, I am ready for ya.

Love Always, Aimee

Expect the Unexpected

I like to plan.

Anyone who knows me well is well aware that I like be in charge of myself and in charge of my schedule. I have had my life mapped out to this point since... well, since I could read a calendar, I suppose. I always knew I would graduate high school in 2013 and begin my university studies at BYU. I would then spend Fall of 2014 on the study abroad program in London. When I came home I would then allow myself to start dating people, be an efy counselor summer of 2015, and get married summer of 2016 right after I turned 21--just as my mother and sister had done. When you are young it does not seem so silly to plan things such as when you are getting married, or the exact time and place you will do a study abroad. I did not consider factors such as "What if I don't get into BYU?" or "What if I can't actually go on study abroad? It's competitive and expensive" or, the real shocker, "What if I have not yet found a person I want to marry/a person who wants to marry me by the incredibly young age of 21??" No. Haha, those thoughts did not come to me until applying to colleges, interviewing for study abroad, or getting to school and realizing how many relationships fail. Call me naive, but I prefer to call myself a dreamer. Even more and a dreamer, a doer.

You see, all my life my parents have taught me that if I want something bad enough, plan for it, and work hard, I can have it. Here I am, days from turning 21, in complete awe of the path my life has taken.

Yes, I have been at BYU these last few years and am whole-heartedly in love with my university and the unique opportunities it provides. There is no where else I would rather spend my days studying and growing.

Yes, I did spend four months living in London last fall, but I have dedicated enough posts to that incredible experience.

Yes, I was an efy counselor for the summer. It was awesome. And hard. But mostly awesome.

Yes, I am getting married in two months. June of 2016, just as I always planned. What?!

And what have I learned through it all??

Expect the unexpected.

While these major events in my life have (miraculously) all gone according to plan, I have found that it is the minor details that have made all the difference. For instance, what am I actually going to study at school and do for the rest of my life? Or why spend copious amounts of money for four short months abroad? What's the point? Oh. Also, turns out it is really competitive to be an efy counselor and they prefer RM's.. Which I am not. What if I don't get the job? Or the real big one: who am I going to marry and spend the rest of my life with?!

I have found over and over again that Heavenly Father is willing to work with me. A few weeks ago at General Conference, something was shared that has stuck with me since.

"You can have what you want, or you can have something better"

That has been my overwhelming experience these last three years in college. I NEVER planned on being a nurse. Not in a thousand years. Never planned on the lessons I learned in England or the ways I changed. Never expected the heartbreaks and miracles of efy. Above all, I definitely never planned on marrying Austin. Those things were not part of my plan. Lucky for me, Heavenly Father is patient. He loves me, stubbornness and all. He has lead me by the hand and said, "Look Aimee. You can have what you want, or if you will just trust me and let go of some of your need for control, you have have something infinitely better."

Gaye Ray fan club

Love me my Ellen

Santa Barbara for life

(I said yes)

Today as I sat with friends from elementary, jr. high, and high school and listened to my closest childhood friend speak of her experiences these last 18 months in Africa as a missionary, I could not help but marvel at how much we had all grown up and changed. From returning from missions, studying in college, marriages, and even babies, big things have happened for each of us. Heavenly Father has a perfect plan for each of us. Now, that does not mean we have to give up all our dreams and goals. Not even a little bit. I have done everything I hoped to in my life! But Heavenly Father knows I am capable of so much more than I think. He has stretched me and pushed me farther than I could go alone. He has led me down paths I was much too terrified to follow. He has strengthened my faith and enlarged my mind and world. Everything He does, He does to benefit me. Simply because I am His daughter and He loves me with a perfect love. It is not because  I am somehow earned it; I am far from deserving the beautiful life I live. It is there purely because He loves me.

Nursing cohort - love these fools.

Looking for Mr. Darcy...

Oh wait. Austin is better than Mr. Darcy.

I know God lives. I have seen his hand in the small details of my life, day after day. All He asks is that I have the faith to follow Him. That I will allow Him to bless me, to lead me, to guide me to the wonderful life He so desperately wants me to have--and above all, the life that will bring me home to Him. I am so grateful. Grateful that He trusts me enough to become a nurse and care for His children in need of healing on this earth. Grateful He let me go to my family's 'homeland' and meet some of the most influential and lifelong friends there. Grateful He allowed me to spend my summer learning from the incredible youth and working with amazing people. Grateful He led me to my best friend; someone who loves me even knowing I am imperfect. More than anything, I am grateful that I can be with my best friend and family quite literally forever. 

God is real. God is good. It is a beautiful life, and I am so lucky to live it--even (and perhaps especially) when it does not go according to my plan. 

Love Always, Aimee 

I am in love with life.

efy never ends

In an effort to start blogging regularly again, I feel I owe it to my kids and my Heavenly Father to write a tribute of sorts of the incredible youth I worked with this summer and the amazing experiences I had.

SB Dream Team

Working efy was a major blessing in my life. It has been a unexplainable dream of mine since I attended four years ago as a youth in Nauvoo. I had a wonderful counselor and company that made me want to be at efy every day, not just for one week. I kept the idea of being counselor in the back of my mind all these years, and last February I was finally old enough to apply (apparently they don't want the counselors to be too close in age to the youth..). I got an interview and felt pretty all right about it, but at the end of it they said something along the lines of, "Well, it was nice to meet you. We will try to get back to you soon, but just be proud of yourself for even getting an interview. With all the returned sister missionaries we have had record breaking numbers of applicants, and we just LOVE all these RM's!". Ouch. Okay, thanks......... I thought that was their nice way of letting me down easy or something.

Harry Potter's birthday. Obvi.

But Heavenly Father hears prayers and must have known I needed to do this THIS summer, because low and behold, a couple weeks later I got an email saying I was hired.
WHAT. It was basically a Christmas miracle. Only in March..

 

I knew efy would be fun. I knew efy would be spiritual. But I was in no way prepared for how incredibly exhausting it was: physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I think when I watched my last girl leave on my last morning of the summer, I quite literally had nothing left to give of myself. That being said, it was also one of the most rewarding things I have ever done with my time. I was focused on the youth and (attempting to) facilitate the spirit so they could better come to know their Savior from 5 am to about midnight (if I was lucky..) every day. I was surrounded by laughter and scriptures and brilliant examples of faith and courage EVERY DAY. I got to meet and come to love other amazing counselors. I learned what it feels like to teach with the Spirit, to follow promptings that make absolutely no sense, to bare bold testimony, and to hold crying and broken children of God. I became better acquainted with my Heavenly Father and the completely personal love and devotion he feels for me and each of children. I might have been completely drained, but I was also completely filled.

 

squad goals.

 

when you boy illegally kisses you. 

This summer my testimony of God's awareness of every person increased a hundredfold as I watched tender mercy after tender mercy unfold in front of my eyes. We are each Heavenly Father's hands, and it is incredible to watch how He works through us imperfect people to heal and help all His children on their way back home. I made some of my very best friends this summer, and the youth I worked with had more influence on me than I could ever have on them. I am so grateful I had the privilege of being surrounded by the most strong, loving, and Christlike human beings this summer. My life was definitely changed for the better because of it. efy will never end for me, not really. Those weeks of wearing over-sized polos and khakis will always hold a special spot in my heart. The testimonies shared and spirit felt will influence me in the years to come. I expect I will always miss my kids and who I was when I was with them.

my girls <3 <3 

all these kids are amazing. The Church is in good hands.

I know that my Savior lives. He is my elder brother and best friend. I know the atonement of Jesus Christ not only covers all my mistakes, but heals my heartaches and infirmities. I know that God is intimately aware of the details of my life and cares about me more than I could comprehend. I know His hand is in all our lives; we only have to look for it. I know that faith brings miracles, and I want to spend the rest of my life following the footsteps of Christ. I want to be the hands of God and watch miracles come to pass around me as we all come closer to Christ on this journey home.

Lord, Here Am I.

 

Love Always, Aimee

ps. If you are one of my kids and not pictured here, please do not be offended. I somehow lost more than half my pictures from the summer...? And some weeks all together. I have no idea what happened. But I love you all more than you know! xoxo Aims 

I promise I am alive.

I used to think that I was terrible at blogging because school made me so busy.
However, after being out of school for a month, I have to conclude that that is not the case.
I must just be lazy.
But I'm not a lazy person, so that can't explain my prolonged absence either.
I think the truth is deep down I am worried my life is no longer interesting.
There.
I said it! I no longer live in the most enchanting and exciting city in the world, so my world must not be noteworthy anymore, right? ... Even typing that out sounds silly, but I can't deny the ring of truth I have been trying to avoid.
Coming home from London sucked.
There.
I said it! I am being brutally honest with you all. It was hard to come home. I jokingly told my mother if it wasn't Christmas I wouldn't have been coming home. Except it wasn't a joke, not really. It was hard to leave 27 Palace Court and all the adventures every day brought with it. The 40 best friends I spent all my time with, the 20 million stairs I climbed daily, the never-ending tube rides, the city lights and towering buildings that made me feel so small and yet so at home, the breathtaking countryside that was so opposite of London itself and STILL felt like home, the misty rain that made my hair a hopeless mess, the theatre, the archaic churches, art galleries galore, and street market after street market full of fascinating people and unbelievable food... Yeah. It was hard to leave and even more heart breaking to know I would probably never call that place home again.

They say London is the cross roads of the world; I full-heartedly concur. You can walk down any street and hear many languages and you can get authentic food from literally any country in the world because people come from all over to world to live in London. Something about that tiny, over-populated city draws people to it. Even though you practically have to sell your first-born child to pay for a tiny apartment, people find it worth it. There is something so unique and special about that city. To just sit back and watch the world walk by you and be a part of every culture and every type of event is just... I am at a loss to explain what it is really like to be a part of. England will always be home in my heart. I would not trade that opportunity for anything.

All of that being said, I still truly do love my life here. I do! It's such a wonderful life. This last semester was my favorite one yet (besides London, obvi). I finished my minor in family studies and took anatomy so I LOVED all of my classes, my random roommates turned out to be some of my very best friends, and I had an awesome ward. I was so sad to move out a few weeks ago and say goodbye to such a brilliant time.

Other things that have happened:

I bought a car! Does that make me an adult? It's a cute, little silver corolla affectionately named Louis. (Yes, after One Direction.. I asked my London Ladies and they suggested Harry Styles, but my car was just not perfect enough to be a Harry Styles. So we went with Louis; adorable, but not Harry. Also he was my perfect mate according to buzzfeed so it only made sense).

I missed my first college class EVER to go see my dear cousin Linds return from her mission to California! It was a much needed break, even if only for a weekend. Oh my gosh I did not realize how much my heart needed to see that girl. ALSO. As of last week, she is now engaged! How crazy is that? Turns out I get to go back to California this August for a wedding! I love love.

I turned 20!!
RIP to those awkward teenage years. I am sorry, but you will not be missed.

One of my best friends since age 7 (and future roommate!!) came home from her mission!!
Best birthday present ever, right? I am so excited to show you the ropes at college, Rick! <3

I got a job as an EFY Counselor for the summer! My wish from 5 years ago is coming to light. It seems so weird, haha. I start next week. Sure, it might just be glorified babysitting of teenagers for the summer, but I am so excited! I love the youth and the enthusiasm and light they have. I am pumped to work closely with them again, and a small part of my hopes that I can have a good influence on at least one of them this summer. That would be the ultimate dream; to be a force for good and bring someone a little closer to Christ by loving them as He does.

I threw my soon-to-be-sister Emily a bridal shower! It was a lot of work, but so much fun. I think my love language is actually party planning. Or at least my dream side job anyways (so if any of you need any parties planned... hit me up). *pictures coming soon. I think it went well? There was a point about two hours before it started that I did not know if it would all come together, but of course it did. It was real good food and real good people celebrating a really beautiful girl; I am going to deem it a success.

Are they not just the cutest couple in the history of ever?? 

Well. That's about it! I have been spending my mornings running or swimming, days cleaning/organizing or doing research for a professor at school, afternoons watching my sister's softball games, and my evenings with my family or friends. It is a pretty good life, I tell you. Noteworthy, even without the adventures afforded by London. God is so good and life is so beautiful.

these are some of the best people I know. 

Oh, yeah. I guess I dyed my hair back to it's natural brown. Kind of miss the red, but it will be easier to maintain this summer. Or so I keep telling myself. 

Love Always, Aimee

This is what happens when my sister asks me to tend her dog for the weekend. 

I'm more of a cat person, tbh...

I Know That My Redeemer Lives

I know that my Redeemer lives
oh sweet the joy this sentence gives.
He lives; He lives who once was dead. He lives, my ever living head.
I lives; my kind, wise, heavenly friend.
He lives and loves me to the end.
Oh sweet, the joy this sentence gives.
I know that my Redeemer lives.


I am so grateful to be blessed enough to know that I have an elder brother, Savior, and Redeemer who not only died on the cross for me but rose again and broke the bands of death. He paid a debt I never could have and gave me--and the entire human race--reason to live, reason to hope, reason to feel joy. There is life after death; it is through the gospel of Jesus Christ. I love my Lord. He is my light and my strength through every day of life. I am so grateful for His loving arms that are continually reaching out to save me. Without His great infinite and eternal sacrifice the whole human experience would end in nothing. But because of his act of pure, deep, and unconditional love for each and every one of us, death will be the only thing that truly dies in the end. That is the most beautiful irony of all. We will live forever with our families and Savior. All He asks is that we come and follow Him.

I truly stand all amazed at the beautiful grace Jesus offers me.


Love Always, Aimee

MIA

I must have had some theory when I returned to school that my life was suddenly uninteresting and thus did not need to be updated via this blog as often.

But then today I realized it is halfway through March and over a quarter of the way through the year and I have not posted one thing. And sure,  I know longer spend my days wandering London or weekends visiting other countries or castles. I spend my days sitting in classes or studying cadavers in the anatomy lab and my nights writing research papers or reading textbooks, but my life is not inconsequential because of it. Freak. I love my life! Research papers, never-ending classes and all.

First day of class shot. This is home. 

My teachers are amazing. I am learning so so much every day. Anatomy? GUYS. Everyone should take it!! It is so cool to study the body. And really, how can you study the body and not KNOW there was a divine creator? This stuff does not just happy people. It's perfect and beautiful and amazing. Even if the smell is less so.

skully is the only one who understands. 

My other classes are so uplifting. I am so grateful I had an extra semester to complete a minor in Family Life (someone remind me of this in a few years when I just want to be done and graduated).

new desk, old memories. 

Here's what I love about BYU: we accept all truth as what it is: truth. Gospel truths included. Meaning my teachers can testify of Christ and Eternal Families and the Atonement and things the Prophet's have taught us as we study the body or chemistry or family finance. And you wouldn't think those things all relate back to the gospel but holy cow I am here to tell you that they do. Everything is related to the gospel because God created this world and the elements in it. He is the only one who truly understands everything and the one who inspires us to be able to as well. There is no where else in the world that you can get such a good education by the world's standard as well as an education in the gospel. It is unlike anything else to feel the Spirit in a science class. There is no where else I would rather be (even if we don't get a spring break..).

original by yours truly. 

My roommates are bomb. I don't know how I have lucked out every semester so far. I always seem to have exactly the people living with me I need to learn from (it's weird, it's like I have someone watching out for me who knows everything or something).

Just your casual Saturday night jam session. 

Peace I give unto you, not as the world giveth. 

mini London Roommate Reunion. These girls are my favorite humans. 

The weather? Do I even need to explain this one? It has been beautiful. I have never seen a "winter" like this. Sure, we have no water yet for the summer.. But hey. I have nothing against April showers. Those are way better than January or February blizzards in my book.

surprise visit to see my favorite RM in California? YES. YES YES YES.

And that is only the very beginning of the list of reasons why my life is so wonderful.

new favorite place to eat: BAKED. Guys. I am a firm believer that sandwiches = life.

Well. It's almost midnight and I still have some reading to do for class tomorrow, so I will end there.
But just so ya'll know, I am alive and well and still loving life.
Yes, I miss England. I think I always will. But I also know happiness is very much a choice in life. And I will always (try to) choose to be happy.
So come what may and love it.

Love Always, Aimee

 (Sorry I don't have any really cool pictures really to post, just a lot of jumbled up thoughts and shots from real life.. but here's a flashback for your enjoyment and my heart ache)

(this is also home)